High School Sunday Morning

How to Develop Health Relationships (part two)





"You need this tool to help you." So said the lady at Lowe's.

Often I am reluctant to payout more money just for a tool to help. I can either pay 'em now, or pay'em later (after struggling and stressing, and swearing--oh yeah, not swearing). You can use the relationship model tool to help you begin to develop relationships. If you are already in a relationship or even with your friends you can use the tool to nurture bonds, not to shackle yourself in bonds. I feel that you need this tool to help you. I hope you come and learn how to use it.

You will begin to learn how to engage your head. This is the part where you get to know someone. The two areas to explore in your relationships are family background and childhood experiences as well as attitudes and actions of the conscience. How you were shaped in your family unit affects relationships. How you developed your conscience affects relationships. How you have matured (or not) impacts relationships. So come and learn how to develop great friendships and to nurture deep relationships. Invite a friend to come.


Pastor D

Wisdom from Proverbs

"Though it cost all you have, get understanding (Proverbs 4:7)."

I wonder how willing I am to give up everything to get wisdom. I want to understand what God has for me. No matter what season of life you are in--middle school, high school, college, or post-college--you want to know about the future. The Wise One here in this chapter exhorts me to get wisdom.

Pursue wisdom.

Chase after her.

I enjoy the personification of wisdom here in this chapter. The pursuit of a wife is my frame of reference now. As an elementary student this would not speak to me. Girls were yucky. But as I matured, girls were a wonderment. As I moved through the teens and into my early twenties, I did not have relationships figured out. Still God help me understand things--about how relationships grow, how it sometimes hurt you, how it brings great exhilaration, how it can separate, and how it may grow stronger. Then I began pursuing my wife-to-be. As Melissa tells it (she tells it best), I pursued her with unconventional methods. I got to know her through letters and then we began going out to get to each other more testing our trust, reliance, and commitment. I resolved to do whatever it took to "get me this woman." I wanted Melissa for my wife. I would have given up anything for her. I would have spent whatever it cost to win her heart.

Now I see how I need to pursue wisdom. I can hear God say, "Daron, Get wisdom--pursue it like you pursued Melissa." I get it. I wonder if you get it. Pursue widsom. Chase after understanding. For the benefits are:

"Do not forsake wisdom, and she will protect you; love her, and she will watch over you (Proverbs 4:6)."

You need to pursue wisdom, to get understanding so you can live for God and not just handle life but really live life to the fullest in God. You can enjoy life. Enjoy life with God.

Pastor D

WEEZER LYRICS - Island In The Sun

WEEZER LYRICS - Island In The Sun

I was listening to Pandora the online internet radio station and this song played. I googled the lyrics and I was thinking about the concept of living on an island with just one person. How idyllic! I wonder if these guys truly believe that escaping to a remote island would offer a great relationship experience. The lyrics that caught my attention of this fantasy island experience were:

"We'll run away together, We'll spend some time forever, We'll never feel bad anymore"

Relationships are difficult--in my own opinion--more difficult without God in your life. You can fantasize that you'll never feel bad anymore on this earth. But during your life, you will experience pain--sometimes feel it intensely. Yes, you will feel bad. However, that's not the end, or the only thing to try to avoid. In my own life I have experienced bad, awful feelings then been enraptured with great, passionate feelings. Yes, I feel bad sometimes. But to fantasize about repelling all bad feelings sets you up for frustration and eventual cynicism. Every relationship becomes only another heartbreak to endure. Rather than settle and shelter yourself from the coming pain, you can embrace the pain when and if it comes.

God created us to feel the full spectrum of our emotions. Mad-glad; Sad-Happy; Afraid-Confident; etc. We need pain to give perspective and enjoyment to happiness. In fact the Bible shares how one can be sad and mad about life's circumstances yet express joy in God. Check out Psalm 144. Verse 15 says,
"Happy are the people whose God is the Lord!" Your hope can be in God even when the pain of challenging relationships occurs. You can trust in God! So don't wish for a fantasy island where you'll never feel bad anymore but engage in a real relationship with God and with others where you'll never feel alone anymore--no matter if your emotions are up or down. You can rely on God. I wonder what you think. Maybe I don't get Weezer's lyrics. Let me know what you think.

Pastor D

High School Sunday Morning

How to develop great relationships

I was listening to radiou on 88.7 and this song by April Sixth called "Dear Angel" was playing. I post the lyrics for you because relationships can feel so hurtful and alienating. You feel all alone and hopeless. Instead, God is near. No matter how many times people fail you, God will not! He promises to be with you, to never leave you nor forsake you. He is the best friend you'll always have. Nurture that friendship so that you can avoid feelings expressed in this song. I wonder where you can download it. I tried itunes but came up empty.

Dear angel of mine,

Where do I start to express how I feel?

Well, my love's gone blind.

Now all that I feel is what I hear.

Your words rip and tear, and

through my heart so weak and pure.

Now I find myself wanting to die…

CHORUS

I bleed for the second time tonight

holding the love that's in my mind.

If only my love could be with you.

If only this pain, this pain died too.

So I break you away, away, away from me.

As I sit here alone

thinking about everything that you said.

You know since I'm alone.

Well, maybe after all, I was better off dead.

Cause without you my life's gone down...

What do I do, when I find myself wanting to die?

This song shares how you could feel like dying. But think before you do. Consider the markers for relationships that you are learning on Sunday mornings--know, trust, rely, commit, touch. Where is this person? Could you use the relationship tool to mark where he or she is at? Come learn how to cultivate great relationships with God's help.

Pastor D

Wisdom from Proverbs

This is my favorite chapter. This morning as I read and spent time in silence before God. I asked God to speak to me. As the day ends I've had God remind me of the first verses in this chapter.

"My son, do not forget my teaching, but keep my commands in your heart, for they will prolong your life many years and bring you peace and prosperity. Let love and faithfulness never leave you; bind them around your neck, write them on the tablet of your heart, Then you will win favor and a good name in the sight of God and humankind (Proverbs 3:1-4)."

For all the things in this world I would want--money, fame, power--God offers long life, peace, prosperity, favor and a good name before God and people. I choose God's offer. Although I forget that his offer is guaranteed. What the world offers is not guaranteed and fleeting. My part in this good life is to obey God's truth, to love others and to be faithful to God and my family. The world's way to take the good life is to lie, cheat, steal, and do whatever it takes to take it for myself. I choose God's way. I want to honor God with my life. He will provide and take care of me.

I can count on Him! You can count on Him too. Just believe in the Lord Jesus Christ and you can be saved-you and your household (Acts 16:31). Read the story of how one man found God at the darkest time of his life, even when God's people were in jail. Paul and Silas are in jail and even the jailer got to know God better in spite of their circumstances. You can know God better too. I wonder if you could tell about how you counted on God, how did God take care of you. He takes care of me everyday.

Pastor D

Sunday Evening Discipleship

Bread Series--conclusion this Sunday Night 6:30-7:45pm

The final discipleship session for the school year focuses on God's forever Kingdom. God's people in the Old Testament waited and waited for a Messiah--a Deliverer. They thought when this Messiah comes he would arrive in a big, spectacular way. They thought His coming would instantly, perhaps violently, radically change the world for them. They thought their enemies would be struck down, their lives would become prosperous, and their faith would be embraced by all. They were wrong, God's kingdom didn't and doesn't work that way.

Jesus explained that God's kingdom is like leaven. Leaven is a small, simple ingredient that works itself in and through the dough--transforming the dough and giving rise to the dough for bread to be baked for eating. God's kingdom is like leaven--it's truth works itself in and through you, transforming you and giving rise to a person living out the truth in real life. You can see your role--your place to live out God's radical and revolutionary ways in your own world. Your unique place is one that you can see work slowly and mightily through you. It is a lifetime transformation that God desires. You can pick up new pieces along the journey. You can make a radical impact these final weeks of school. God can do His kingdom work through you. You are his princes and princesses in battle for Him. Go and make a difference for Him!

Join us this Sunday night for a challenge and praise time to ignite your life for living for God this coming week. May it fuel your soul and impact others for Christ!

Tips for Small Groups:

• Praying Together--some students will be uncomfortable praying out loud. Let them know that everyone feels self-conscious when praying out loud for many times. Some people don't get over it. But students can work at it with you. Share how you learned to pray out loud with others or how you still feel challenged about praying out loud with others. Remind them that each one is simply talking to God who is the perfect Father and just wants them to share with Him what's on their minds as we have directed them this evening.
• Prayer Help--Try using a fill in the blank sentence; e.g. I want to thank You, God for _____; or I want You God to help me with _______. You may want them to write out their prayer and then read it back to God. Encourage students to try. This may be the only time they get coaching on how to pray and you get the chance to help one student become a great prayer warrior for the rest of his or her life.

Pastor D

Sunday Mornings Middle School

This Sunday morning at 9:30 you will be looking at some biblical characters. I am going to select two losers...biblical characters that you don't want to be like. Often I can select the men and women of the Bible who did great things or said awesome things. But as I review the wisdom literature of the Bible, you can learn from your mistakes. I do. In fact, you may learn some things to avoid in your own life.

As I skimmed through the Bible, I saw many losers. So I chose two--Saul & Haman. Saul is a great example of what can go wrong when you decide to know more than God. God had blessed Saul's life in tremendous ways yet he decided to disobey. So the challenge for you is to choose to obey. The rewards are worth the risk.

So come join us. You will discover how to not be a loser. You'll be glad you came to learn that lesson.

I want to say thanks to my friends Doug Fields and Kurt Johnston for lettime me use their material for our students. They have such great resources.

Pastor D

Sunday Morning High School

We will proceed with the second-part of our five-part series this Sunday regarding how to develop healthy relationships. Mrs. Feusse had a tough Sunday afternoon. Her daughter Katie broke her leg in a championship game in Cincinnati. I have not got an update but I'm sure there is some recovery time needed.

This week we will unpack a little more about how healthy relationships work. I wonder if you have any movie clips or songs that could depict or describe how relationships are perceived in student life. I have a distant perspective. But you could provide some more insight to help us on Sunday morning. Please offer your suggestions here by posting a comment and adding links to the content you discover online. Thanks.

Pastor D

Wisdom from Proverbs

I have neglected posting my thoughts from God's Word. As this new month begins, I have a couple of thoughts. I concur with the words of Agur in Proverbs 30; " I am weary, God, but I can prevail. Surely I am only a brute, not a man; I do not have human understanding. I have not learned wisdom, nor have I attained to the knowledge of the Holy One (verses 1b-3)." I am weary. This school year has been challenging. But I will prevail. There are many things that I do not know. I am comfortable with admitting what I don't know. The hardest part is moving on from setbacks. I praise God for accepting me as I am. I can do a lot of things well. But I can only do one thing at a time. So this is where I ask God for wisdom. I need His insight. I can beat myself up so easily--telling myself that I have to do more. But God is transforming me. I can go to him for refuge from myself and my high expectations and desire for perfection. Later in verse five Agur says, "Every word of God is flawless, he is a shield to those who take refuge in him." I need refuge. God provides that for me. I praise God that I can be weary but not despairing. He will protect. He will provide. He will take care of me even when I don't understand what's going on.

Today's reading from chapter two, verses 1-5 help me move forward. Rather than pausing to flog myself, I can cry out to God for help. See verses 3 and 5b; "indeed, if you call out for insight and cry aloud for understanding...you will find the knowledge of God." Coupled with knowledge from God is respect for God. Do I truly respect God? I wonder sometimes. He is the Ruler of this Universe. He knows what's going to happen the rest of this day and tonight and tomorrow. So why do I fret about things so much. I can choose to trust rather than worry. I can choose to put my faith in God rather than shut my faith down. I can choose to rely on God rather than merely relying on myself. I can receive knowledge and wisdom. "For the Lord gives wisdom (Proverbs 2:6a)." God will give me wisdom for each day. I will not despar. I will trust. May God encourage you to trust God rather than worry. He can take care of you.

Pastor D

High School Relationships

Sunday Morning Series: How to develop healthy relationships

This Sunday begins our five week study on building healthy relationships. This theme is critical for students in high school. Growing good relationships is a skill anyone needs for creating a great life. All students want great friends. All parents want great friends for their children.

Mrs. Wendy Feusse challenged students to consider a new tool for fostering great relationships in boy-girl friendships. We used a relationship tool where five features were shared: Know, Trust, Rely, Commit, & Touch. Students need to define what selfishness looks like and feels like. We showed two clips. Selfishness rules over all relationships. The only way to overcome this natural tendency is to have Jesus come into your life and to help you overcome it. Without Jesus you have no hope. You can only expect heartache and pain with each new relationship These recurring "awful" relationships keep emerging. Yet with Jesus you will still experience heartache and pain but you'll survive it and grow from it and set the foundations for great relationships.

I was talking after church with a parent who discovered what we were sharing. This parent came up with a good point. Rather than avoid marrying a jerk, avoid dating one! I thought that was a good point. This tool is one way to work through guy-girl relationships but it eventually ends up with each person making up their own minds. I can't wait to hear how this tool will help students foster healthy and godly relationships. Plese post a comment about tools or models that guide your relationships. I wonder what you use. I know that if I had this tool I would have done better in my relationships.

Pastor D

Game Day for Middle School

Students focused on relationship building this morning. I intend to try to get students to get to know names of other students. I hope students get to break down barriers. This will build up connections in the youth group. My focus is to foster friendships at church with Christian friends. Students attend different schoools or have opposite schedules from one another. Sunday mornings may be the only time students see each other during the week. To cultivate relationships I will revise the game day concept. I will begin with a planned opportunity for mixing students so that barriers to relationships can begin to come down between individuals, leading to potential bonding within the group. So I will provide for opportunities for interaction. This takes time out of the hour, but as I hear from parents and students--connection is critical. So I will seek to structure time for students to open up about themselves. I will set aside time that students discover mutual interests and potential links for friendship. I pray that students leave excited about potential friendships within the group.